At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
