are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
