so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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