i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize
