just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
