No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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