Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
