Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
