'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
So squirting runs in the family.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize