hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
