I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
