If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
