Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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