I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I will be naked everywhere
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
try to milk me bitch
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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