no one should ever give us hovercrafts
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
