That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
