Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
