We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
