He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
