Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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