I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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