she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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