we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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