I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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