Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
