highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
