he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
