Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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