that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
