Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I did not marry a roomba.
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