So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
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