Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Randomize
