You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize