I'm going to jail i love you
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
