During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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