I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I just had sex on a roof
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
