i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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