Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
