we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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