sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
