just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
