Dual....:-)
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
