She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize