He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I just googled if crying burns calories
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
