it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
