He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize