Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize