My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
