I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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