I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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