I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize