not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
It's rum buckets o'clock
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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