sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
