there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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