How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Randomize
