A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
