DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
