Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
She bit a glass in half.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
