their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
