I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
