I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
